By Claudiane Reny
As much as it sounds cheesy or simple, I need to be surrounded by tropical beauty. I need to have a coconut to grab easily. I need the sun and warm weather. My heart simply feels at home with these surroundings.
I use to deny these desires because they always felt like a quirk, like a small whim, like, come on, you have a roof over your head, a salary, friends, a beautiful family, it’s just a silly dream. Forget it.
It might sound strange but, every time I was watching a movie and an ocean would appear, something inside of me would say ‘’what are you still doing here, in Canada, in the cold, far from the sea?’’. And I put that thought on silent for way too long.
Until I found a letter. That I wrote to myself. A letter to my 25 years old self, that I wrote when I was 17. And that I completely forgot about until I found it. That two pages letter was saying, in summary: ”Please travel, please go. If you haven’t left already, this is your cue. Just go travel the world.” And BOOM. I started crying, impressed by how right on time this thing was coming to me. It felt so weird and so right at the same time.
Leaving my country and everything I knew
And I left. One way ticket for Thailand. I sold all my things, along with my apartment contract. I thought I had nothing to lose, only my job and my comfort zone. But they were not satisfying anymore, so there was no point staying.
I left with this strange hunch that I would not come back for a long time. But what would I know, right? I was just starting to travel, maybe I’ll get tired in a month or two.
When I left my dad said ‘’See you again in two weeks’’, as a joke, and as a small hope from his side I assume. I left on a November day, the first snow of the year. It was a a farewell to winter at the same time. I left the day of my mom’s birthday. We cried. The next minute, I was living my excitation and expectations.